Sacrificing the Gift

The worst way to start running is to start running again.  I consider myself fairly active, but there's nothing worse than the utterly out-of-shape feeling I get whenever I go running after a few months off.  I used to run high school cross country, and while I certainly wasn't great, I still got a bit of …

Do my laundry habits show my age?

I've come to the conclusion that laundry is way more complicated than it looks.  Everyone always acts like it's so easy, as if you can just "throw" everything in the washer and then "throw" everything in the dryer.  If that's how you think laundry works, you've clearly never heard of a "how to wash" tag. …

I’ve Pooped In Your Bathroom Before

I don’t enjoy “Going” in public. I hate it. Doesn’t everyone? “Going” in public is like having Richard Simmons read your diary aloud at a city council meeting. It’s something you’d prefer to do alone in private. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to convince people that I don’t do this one thing. Of course, everybody …

Mother May I? (And everything your mother warned you not to do)

There are a myriad of ways to die.  Even everyday activities like getting in a car or taking a shower can become deadly under the right circumstances.  But how can we stay safe without spending years of fraught rumination trying to figure out what to avoid?  Humans aren't just born with the knowledge that the …

Show me someone who knows where all their extra batteries are, and I’ll show you a real adult

One thing I know about adults is that they're really good in emergency situations.  Adults always know exactly what to do when something goes wrong.  They know how to read maps and where to buy life insurance and what to do if they get into a fender-bender. Do you know what I'd do if I …

My New Year’s Revelation

I think I've finally outgrown New Year's Eve.  Or, perhaps it has finally outgrown me. The time when New Year's Eve is the most fun night of the year is so fleeting.  It usually happens somewhere in our early-to-mid twenties when New Year's is still full of sparkle and romance and possibility.  It's fun to …

All I Want For Christmas Is Christmas

I've always loved Christmas, and when I was a kid, my only problem with it was that it never came fast enough.  The four weeks of Advent, brimming with anticipation, always seemed to creep by like molasses.  The days were all filled with an excitement I could feel tingling across my skin as I counted down …